Every once in a while the stars align and two very famous, very rich and very disagreeable people face off in the street over an almost meaningless slight. Yesterday was that once in a while. Get your popcorn and Big Gulp sodas ready folks, this one’s a doozy…
A source said:”Gwyneth had gone for a jog on the beach before the big birthday bash. Kate was out for a walk, eating crisps, when Gwyneth ran past.
“Kate said, ‘Oi, what you out jogging for?’ Gwyneth fired back, ‘So I don’t look like you when I get old’. Kate was speechless for a second then spat back and threw some crisps at her. She said, ‘Why don’t you eat some f****** carbs!’
Yep, this was all in the run up to a birthday party for Sir Philip Green, the British businessman in charge of the Arcadia Group (Top Shop, Burton, BHS etc). Famous people, big party. So there’s a lot of famous faces in one location for an unusually long time, including the kind of folks who act as ‘A source’ for these stories. Not such a surprise then that Goop and Moss might drag the wretched awfulness of their public personae into the same airspace.
Bear in mind this is the same GPal who earlier this week tweeted at the New York Times fact checking team to inform them that no ghost writers had been involved in the composition of her magnum opus cookbook for working moms everywhere My Father’s Daughter, even the title of which is a lesson in Humblebrag 101. But let’s take ourselves down to the scene of the incident like a bunch of snarky CSIs. Notoriously abrasive Kate spots her fellow celebrado Goop out for a bit of exercise. Let’s take what we know of GP and imagine that she’s probably wearing a pedometer, one of those things on your shoulder that does something, and like monogrammed sweatbands why not. Moss lets out a friendly (or attempted friendly, which is not the same thing) touch of banter.
Something clicks in Paltrow’s mind. This is her moment. This is for all the years of rejection by the marginally more popular, slightly more fabulously wealthy students at The Spence School, the all-girls private school she attended in upstate New York, paid for by her film producer father. “So I don’t look like you when I get old,” quipped the 40-year-old actor to the 38-year-old model, both of them exquisitely preserved millionaires. Moss stays classy and throws some crisps at her. I’m not sure someone didn’t write this, but then if they did it’s probably a much too-intricate depiction of the dynamic neuroses of two thoroughly disagreeable people.
Or maybe it just writes itself! WHO CAN SAY.
If you were going to write a short story about a spat between two financially secure middle aged women, who would they be? Let us know in the comments.