The week in brief

July 24, 2011

Celebrity

It’s the end of the penultimate week of July. Here’s what you might have missed on the Hollywood gossip scene if you, you know, had better things to do with your time.

1. Bette Midler and Lady Gaga squared off early this week in a battle of the mermaids. After Gaga’s stylist’s spat with Katy Perry last week over who has the right to use the public-domain mermaid theme, Bette shot back with a picture of her classic mermaid in a wheelchair stage show. Right after Gaga premiered her new mermaid in a wheelchair stage show. Gaga has since said that she is a “huge fan” and had no idea that Midler had already pioneered wheeled mermaids on stage. The main question is, wouldn’t a huge fan know about one of Midler’s signature performance pieces? Are you having us on, Gaga?

2. Lindsay Lohan can’t pay for mandatory drug counselling right now, according to the troubled star’s latest court hearing. Too skint despite wearing $1,200 Louboutins to said court hearing. I hear eBay is a good way to raise funds these days.

3. We already knew that Chris Brown was an absolutely terrible person after he was taken down for hitting Rihanna. It turns out he’s also a holy terror with his neighbours, with loud music, racing dogs in hallways and parking in handicapped spaces in his West Hollywood condo. Brown has recently gone on record saying his haters are just being racist after a terrible performance on the Today Show. No, it couldn’t possibly be anything to do with how bad he is as a human being.

Image via Jennifer Su

Image via Jennifer Su

4. Is Paris Hilton yesterday’s news? The heiress stormed out of an interview with Good Morning America this week after the host asked whether Kim Kardashian was taking her reality show crown. Hilton was one of Kimmie-K’s early supporters, so it’s no surprise she might be feeling a bit unsteady atop her glittery pink empire.

5. Speaking of which, Desperate Housewives- alum Jesse Metcalfe rocked the uniboob look during a public romp with a low rent Paris Hilton-alike (take a look at her. It’s uncanny). The jury’s out on whether the star of the upcoming Dallas reboot has been taking steroids or just got some really awful pec implants. Seriously though? Muscle implants on a guy: not attractive even when they’re done well.

 

 

Who is the true musical queen of the seven seas? Do Paris Hilton’s tiny dogs and baby talk hold a special place in your heart, or is it all about the Kardashians now? Can next week top all of this week’s goss? Share your thoughts here.

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